My China Extrusion

I went to Shenzhen for one day during my trip.

The last time I went to China was eight years ago. I did the usual Beijing/Xi’an tour with my family and what I remembered most was that it was insanely hot and that the washrooms required the squatting technique which I didn’t know how to perform without tragedy. I believe that washrooms are the deal-breaker in terms of architectural luxury. This time I am visiting China to tour my aunt’s factory.

I guess you can argue that I was in China all along but I do not really consider Hong Kong to be China, or at least my idea of China which floats somewhere between the 1950’s McCarthy view of China and a rose-tinted version of China’s awesome potential. In my limited experience, Hong Kongers are afraid of China because of stories like these. My mom used to threaten to leave me in China if I misbehaved.

Being in China is a strange experience. Much like how the young backpackers in Eurotrip discovered that their American dollar went a long way in Bratslava, I found myself strictly in the priviledged class in China. Getting a chauffeur costs less than getting a taxi in Toronto and by far safer so for the first time in my life, I was getting chauffeured around town. And, of course, my relatives belonged to the allegedly world famous Mission Hills Golf Club(they had horribly decorated washrooms) so I got to wine and dine in one of the finest restaurants in China at the cost of a particularly extravagant meal at Kelseys. I have to admit that it is very seductive to have white-gloved servants keeping perfect kowtow while running to open your door least you may exert yourself and/or have eye-contact with them. And having young chiseled soldiers salute you and refer to you as the young miss of the family as you enter the gated communities is positively Sade-caliber sexual – I smile just thinking about it.

I also tested out the infamous lack of Internet freedom in China. I found out that this blog is banned, which surprised me because, I’m not particularly pro- or anti- anything other than hipsters. I checked other news outlets and blogs and I found that thegrumpyowlwas the only other blog that was blocked. As far as I can tell, the Globe, the Star, the Toronto Life and the Toronto fashion blogs are the same as it ever was and even get top billing on Google China searches. I wonder why my blog was banned when i-want i-got has links to articles discussing China and Chinese-made items.

Later in the day, my aunt had to go to the local government office to talk with the officials. The office was modern but filled with mosquitoes – I got bitten four times while waiting for my aunt to finish. It also had those squatting toilets I can not use. I also witness the full chubby bureaucracy of China.

Look at this chap. Looks like he’s hard at work right?

Nope, he’s messing around with photoshop tutorials.

More websurfing:

I also saw these washroom signs at the government office. Notice that the signs say “Man Washroom” and “Women Washroom”. This reminds me of a Chinese quote – “there are many teacups around a teapot” – supporting male polygamy.

I also noticed that everybody I met had only male children. I thought that was really weird because in my generation of my extended family there are 7 girls and 6 boys, more or less half and half. Out of the ten-ish couples I met, I only met one couple that had two girls. Coincidence?